CENSURE NOTICE
Your soul has been found dry
You came seeking numbers, percentages, green bars, and proof of worth in tidy columns.
The Directorate has recorded this fixation. It is unbecoming.
The Sacred Mission Is Not Measured In Percentages
The Yeast Inspectors do not kneel before the sterile altar of killboard vanity.
We do not measure our worth by whether a third party website gives us a flattering colour. Camaraderie is not a spreadsheet column.
Kills are temporary. The Dough is eternal.
A fleet that loses half its ships, kills something stupid on the way out, then laughs for an hour has passed inspection.
You want arithmetic. We offer spoilage.
Your Recorded Offences
- Prioritising statistics over camaraderie
- Seeking killboard purity instead of holy nonsense
- Displaying symptoms of spreadsheet fixation
- Failing to appreciate doctrinally justified losses
- Approaching the sacred mission with dry intent
- Mistaking efficiency for culture
Official Determination of the Fermentation Directorate
By order of the Supreme Fermentation Directorate, you are hereby instructed to cease your fixation on numerical affirmation and return to matters of actual spiritual significance, including:
- social cohesion
- absurd roams
- righteous explosions
- casual PvP/PvE
- mutual morale
- the eternal inspection
Repent.
Abandon your sterile hunger for percentages.
Return to the warm and golden path of the risen dough.
There Is Still Hope For You
Should you choose to renounce the dry path, the Directorate may yet permit your return to useful service.
You may:
- return to the Home decree
- read the sacred intake procedure
- apply for inspection
- seek forgiveness through participation